Father's Day
by Tracy-Lou
Summary: Ste receives a surprising letter. Brendan/Ste.


Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!

Summary: Ste receives a surprising letter. Brendan/Ste.

Father's Day

Ste woke up on Sunday morning, wondering why he felt so glum. He supposed his Saturday night had been uneventful; Doug hadn't come round like he was supposed to. Riley had needed him for something or other. Ste hadn't really reacted, he had other things on his mind.

It had all started Friday morning. Ste had woken up in a daze, a happy one. He had gotten the kids ready for Nursery, made tea for Amy and himself and was almost out the door when the post came. There was a handwritten letter addressed to 'Mr Stephen Hay'. Ste had frowned. It wasn't Brendan's handwriting, so that was a relief. He'd opened it carefully, not wanting to rip the paper. It was only a letter, quite brief. Ste tore it up immediately.

Unfortunately he hadn't disposed of it and Amy had found it. They'd had a long chat when he got home. Ste had been terse with her, he didn't want to discuss the contents of the letter. Eventually she had dropped it. Ste had been in a rotten mood all day Saturday, it was no surprise that Doug had made other plans with Riley.

Ste swung himself out of bed. He stared down at his legs which were bare save his boxers. He rubbed at his face, feeling tiredness invade his entire body. His hair was mussed and severely needed a wash. Ste padded to the bathroom, eyes half closed.

Their shower head was pretty poor, water barely trickled out of it at times. Ste couldn't be bothered to run a bath however. He was out wrapped in a towel shortly after. Amy had taken the kids out early with Ally. It was rare for Ste to have the place to himself. He considered asking Doug over but then decided against it; he didn't want him thinking his bad mood was down to him.

Ste had just settled down, still undressed, to watch television to pass the day when there was a knock at the door. Ste switched the television off and walked to the door, opening it with a flourish. His stomach tightened when he realised who it was.

"Brendan" he sighed, bowing his head. "Not in the mood for you"

"Are ye ever?" Brendan said smoothly, brushing past Ste on his way in.

"What do you want?"

Brendan looked him over, his eyes hungry. He looked up at Ste, changing his expression to a more neutral stance.

"The Deli's shut, I fancied lunch there"

Ste glanced at the clock, it was gone twelve thirty.

"We're closed on Sunday's" he said, exasperated.

"Oh right" Brendan said, not looking remotely surprised.

"What did you really want?" Ste sighed, moving towards his bedroom to find some clothes. Brendan followed.

"Just thought I'd see how ye were" Brendan said in one of those rare, disarming moments when he appeared nothing but genuine.

"Well, I've been better" Ste said, not bothering to lie. Brendan would know anyway.

"What's the matter?"

Ste sighed, taking the patched together letter Amy had recovered. He pushed it into Brendan's hands, absentmindedly dressing himself. Brendan was too engrossed in the letter to look, however.

"Yer Da?" he said in some surprise.

"Yep" Ste said, pulling his tracksuit bottoms up. "My real one too"

"Have ye met him before?"

Ste shook his head. "Never heard a peep. Mum didn't speak about him. Said Terry was the only father I'd need. Yeah right" Ste breathed out through his nose, calming himself.

"What does he want?"

Ste shrugged, taking the letter back. "Probably got whiff of the deli"

"Ye think he wants yer money?"

"Who knows" Ste replied. "I'm not taking the time to find out"

"Ye aren't gonna meet with him?"

"No, Brendan. Why would I?"

Brendan looked at him carefully. "He's yer Da"

"And you really like yours, do you?" Ste countered.

"This isn't about me" Brendan said reasonably. "I could come with ye, if ye wanted"

Ste looked at him, incredulous. "We aren't together, Brendan"

"I know that" Brendan said, running his hand through his hair. "Just if ye need me, I'm available"

"I'll bear that in mind" Ste said with only some of his usual bite. He'd been easier on Brendan lately since he'd conned him out of the deli. He figured they were almost even. Nothing could really make up for the things he had done, but at least Ste had taken some of the power back.

"I'll leave ye to it then" Brendan said, a little too sheepishly. He took a step back and Ste glared at him.

"What's your game?"

"Game, Stephen?" Brendan looked mildly puzzled.

"You're up to something"

"Yer confidence in me is touching, really" Brendan said sarcastically. That was more like it.

"We aren't friends" Ste said gruffly.

Brendan raised an eyebrow, he took several steps forward until he was directly in front of Ste, almost chest to chest. Ste found himself holding his breath.

"I know that" Brendan said, his voice a low hum. Ste gulped. Brendan was staring at his lips. He traced his finger across his bottom lip. Ste's eyes closed involuntarily. Brendan chuckled to himself and Ste's eyes snapped open at the same time he pushed Brendan away.

"Just go" he said, breathing hard.

Brendan nodded, his eyes barely concealing his lust.

Once he was gone, Ste collapsed into a chair, head in hands. This was all he needed right now, Brendan making his presence felt. It was quite clear that Ste still harboured certain _feelings _towards him. Sexual feelings. But his heart remained concealed. Brendan had shattered it, broken Ste beyond repair. And yet…

The front door barged open, Ally, Amy and the kids bustling in.

"Happy Father's day, Daddy!" Leah squealed, bombarding him with presents and cards.

Ste had forgotten it was Father's day. How appropriate.

"Aw thanks, darling" Ste grinned, genuinely touched. He looked up at Ally and Amy. "You did all this?"

"You are the Daddy" Amy smiled. Ally's arm snaked around her waist.

"Lucas insisted on the biggest card in the shop" he said, laughing. "I had to carry it home"

Ste grinned at him, opening the cards and presents. "I'm touched, really"

Leah climbed onto his knee and put her arms around his neck. "Love you" she whispered, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Ste nearly cried.

Amy looked down at them, still holding Lucas' hand. Her eyes looked a little wet too. "How you feeling today?"

"Better" Ste nodded, reaching out for Lucas.

"Have you called Doug?"

"I think I just need a little time" Ste said, hoping Amy would catch on.

"The kids wanted to spend the day with you"

"Yeah?" Ste smiled brightly at his two children. "What did you have in mind then, eh?"

"DVD!" Leah said happily, pushing past Ste towards the television. "Brendan told me it was good"

"He what?"

Amy sighed, rolling her eyes. "We saw him on our way back. What was he doing here?"

"Oh you know, the usual"

Amy's eyes widened comically.

"Not that usual!" Ste hissed. "I sent him packing"

"Good" Amy said, kissing his cheek. "You okay with these two if we go out?"

"Course" Ste said, settling himself down on the sofa with the kids. "Have fun"

"Cheers, mate" Ally winked. Ste watched them leave with a small smile. It was time to shut out the rest of the world and simply enjoy being with his children. What could be better?

Xxx

Brendan lingered around the estate for longer than he perhaps should have. Something was bothering him and he couldn't put his finger on it. Stephen telling him to leave was not surprising, nor particularly upsetting. Brendan was well aware of the fact he was pushing his luck. He told himself a million times to just leave it alone, to move on, but he'd only have to glance Stephen's way and see that smile, or watch his arse move in those ridiculous chinos and the memories would come flooding back.

Memories of stolen kisses, of holding him after they had fucked. The worst part was remembering how Stephen used to look at him, in the early days. His blue eyes would gleam, his eyelashes long and perfectly framed. His smile would be wide, unrestrained. Sometimes his teeth would bite his bottom lip when he'd look at him like an invitation Brendan couldn't refuse.

All Brendan could hope for now was Stephen being straight with him and not answering every comment Brendan made with a scathing remark. Stephen had been his once, his alone. Now he wasn't. Brendan wanted to rectify that. He pulled out the letter he had concealed in his pocket. He glanced at the address, not too far away. Brendan was in full determination mode, ready to do what he had to in order to win Stephen back. But then he had bumped into Amy, Ally and the kids.

"Hi Brendan!" Leah had greeted him happily. Sweet kid.

"Alright, sweetheart?" Brendan replied, bending down to her level. He could practically feel Amy's displeasure burning into his skin. "What ye got there?"

"Presents for Daddy and a DVD to watch with him"

"That's a good one" Brendan noted, straightening. "And what's this in aid of?"

"Father's day"

That pulled Brendan up short. He looked at Amy questioningly. "Is it?"

"Yes" Amy said slowly, as though speaking to a small child.

Brendan bit his nail. "See ye" he said abruptly, walking away from them.

He pulled his phone out, debating whether to call his father. Eventually he decided against it. Why should he? He went home to see if he had any post and thankfully he did. Poraic had sent him some aftershave Eileen must have picked out for him and Declan had sent a card. The words said more to Brendan than any present in existence could.

_Not giving up on you yet, Da. Happy Father's Day._

Suddenly Brendan didn't feel the need to visit Stephen's Dad. It was Stephen's choice, Brendan had to respect that. He vowed to put the letter back when he could, it was the least he could do. It turned out he wouldn't even get the chance to do that. Later that afternoon when he was sorting through some paperwork for the club, someone started banging on the front door.

"Brendan!" Stephen's voice was unmistakeable.

Brendan sighed, standing up and walking deliberately slow towards the door.

"May I help ye?"

Stephen barged past him, flustered.

"Where's my letter? I know you have it!"

"Stephen-"

"You can't just take my things! It doesn't belong to you!"

Brendan took a moment to register this. "I only meant to-"

"No! You don't mean to do anything. It's mine. You aren't, you don't-" Stephen was getting more and more worked up. Brendan took a moment to really take him in. He looked a mess.

"Stephen, calm down-"

"Don't tell me what to do!" Stephen yelled, tears springing to his eyes. "Do you know that's all I have of him? That one letter?"

"Ye tore it up" Brendan said, confused.

"Because I was angry! He abandoned me, Brendan. For twenty-two years I heard nothing! And now, now…" Stephen wiped at his eyes furiously.

"Sit down, Stephen" Brendan said calmly. He tried to guide him towards the sofa but Stephen flinched away from his touch. "I'm only trying to help!" he was getting annoyed now.

"No you aren't!" Stephen retorted. "Give me my letter and I'm gone"

Brendan sighed, taking the letter out of his pocket. Stephen snatched it out of his hands, holding it to his chest. He was about to leave until Brendan spoke.

"Don't do it, Stephen"

"Do what?" Stephen turned back, curiosity clearly getting the better of him.

"Let him in"

That gave him pause. "Why?"

"Take it from someone who knows, ye build up expectations in your mind of what he should be, how wonderful it could all be and it isn't"

"Not all Dad's are like that, I'm not" Stephen said.

"I know that. Ye are a better Dad than I could ever be"

"That's not true" Stephen mumbled. "Declan, he still cares. In fact, he-" Stephen stopped short at the look on Brendan's face. "What?"

"Ye speak to him?"

Stephen flushed. "He wanted my number, to keep in touch. Especially after…" Stephen shivered a little at the memory. "Especially after he was last here" he finished eventually.

Brendan looked away. He did not like the idea of Stephen and his son speaking to each other, Stephen could be telling him all sorts.

"I don't tell him anything, not really" Stephen added, as if reading his thoughts.

"Really?" Brendan asked sceptically.

"You're his hero. I'd hate to ruin that" Stephen answered. Brendan could see by his expression that he was telling the truth.

"Well, I appreciate that…"

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"I was probably a bit full on just then" Stephen said eventually, laughing nervously.

"Ye were upset"

"I know but…" Stephen frowned. "Why did you take it?"

Brendan shrugged. "I wanted to go see him for myself"

"Why?" Stephen asked incredulously.

Brendan considered this. He didn't want to tell him it was because he couldn't bear the idea of another man entering Stephen's life unannounced. Or because he wanted to look after him, protect him from someone who was clearly not right in the head if they thought it was okay to leave him all these years. Instead he gave a half-truth.

"I was curious"

Stephen stared him down. Brendan felt as though he could see directly into his mind and read the true thoughts lurking there. Eventually he looked away, apparently satisfied with what he read. His brow still furrowed though in confusion.

"My offer still stands. I'll go with ye if ye want"

"Why wouldn't I take Doug?"

Brendan looked at him carefully. "Be my guest"

The silence hung in the air between them. Eventually Stephen sat down.

"I couldn't"

Brendan perched on the end of the sofa, keeping his distance.

"Why not?"

"He wouldn't understand" Stephen mumbled. "He gets on well with his parents"

"Doesn't necessarily mean he won't get it" Brendan said reasonably, surprising even himself. He was just trying to get Stephen to stay. This was the longest conversation they had had in what felt like forever.

Stephen shrugged, sinking further into the cushions. "He's not like you and me"

"And what are we like?"

"Destructive" Stephen said after a moment's beat. "We get that from our parents, right?"

"Possibly" Brendan said, sitting beside him on the sofa. Stephen didn't appear to notice. "But ye are a good Dad to those kids of yers. Doesn't that count for anything?"

Stephen looked down. "I guess so. Doesn't change how messed up my life was though"

"Tell me about it" Brendan cocked his head to the side.

Stephen looked at him suspiciously but then sighed. "You know Terry used to beat me?"

Brendan froze. He was, for perhaps the first time in his life, speechless.

"Well he did. Mum did nothing, she was too scared and weak. I hated him, but I think I hated her more, for just taking it. When it happened with Amy, I hated her a little too, for taking it. It's horrible and I hate myself for it, but…" Stephen trailed off, his voice failing him. "And then you…" he broke down then, sobs wracking his body in waves. Brendan did what came naturally, he pulled him against his body, arms tight and secure around him.

"Shh" Brendan said, in an attempt at soothing tones. "It's alright" he said, repeating it over and over. Stephen buried his head into his chest. Brendan felt himself flush all over. Even though they had kissed only a few weeks ago, this felt more real. Well, that had been fake of course, except Brendan did wonder if it was completely.

"I should go" Stephen mumbled, his sobs quietening.

Brendan tightened his hold. "Not yet" he hated how desperate he sounded but if this was all he would get, then he'd take it.

"Brendan" Stephen said, his hands clutching his shirt. "Why won't you let me go?"

"Ye know why" Brendan replied gruffly.

"I'm with-"

"I know" Brendan said, a little sharply. He pulled away, composing himself. "Ye can go, it's fine"

Stephen hesitated. "I am sorry you know, for what I had to do with the deli"

"No you're not" Brendan said, not dismissively. "But it's okay"

Stephen smiled a little. He seemed to debate something internally. He leaned forwards, kissing Brendan very softly on the mouth. Brendan barely had time to react before he pulled away.

"That was real" Stephen whispered.

"Ye don't need to tell me that, Stephen"

Stephen grinned a little, a rare, genuine smile. His blue eyes gleamed, his eyelashes framed perfectly, his teeth bit his bottom lip…

Brendan knew then that things would be alright, eventually. This was a step in the right direction at least. Stephen went out the door not his, but someone who at least knew that Brendan was here if he wanted him. Brendan would never admit that to anyone of course, proud as he was. But he sensed that Stephen knew deep down and he suspected that he also felt there was something unfinished between them.

He realised Stephen had left the letter behind, crumpled up once more. Brendan smoothed it out, pleased that he would have another excuse to come back. He idly wondered if it had been about the letter at all or if Stephen just needed someone to talk to and that someone happened to be Brendan. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. It was enough to have him near, at least for now.

Xxx

Ste leaned against the wall outside Brendan's, feeling freer than he had since he had received his father's letter. He didn't know why he'd gone to Brendan in the first place; it was certainly more than simply getting the letter back. Maybe it was because Brendan was a father himself, or because he'd had almost as rough an upbringing as Ste himself. Ste was just grateful to have someone to talk to. Except they hadn't really spoken much. Ste had cried and Brendan had listened, actually _listened. _

Ste wouldn't allow his thoughts to drift back to that place but he did wonder. And even when he was down the stairs and away from Brendan's completely, he could still feel the soft pressure of his lips against his own.


End file.
